Calling out Fatty

6/27 update: Welcome, fellow Fat Cyclist readers!
So PMC is a mere eight weeks away, and I’ve raised only 10% of the minimum I for the ride. “Plenty of time,” part of me says. “You need to get on the stick,” responds the other part. I’ve started reaching out to everybody I know – friends, classmates, co-workers, people who stand too close to me on the T. If I haven’t asked you yet, consider this fair warning. You could just save me the trouble and go pledge.
But the part of me that’s saying “get on the stick” is whispering a few other things, too, such as “you don’t actually know all that many people.” Now the people I do happen to know are mostly generous (or at least they were before I started posting on the Internet about the voices in my head), so I’m confident that they’ll come through. But this isn’t an exercise in meeting the minimum. I want to raise as much money as I can, and I’m not terribly concerned about looking ridiculous in the process.
I happen to know another guy who likes to ride bike and knows a thing or two about cancer. Coincidentally he’s also got a big ride coming up in August, and his flair for looking ridiculous is well known in certain circles.
That’s right; I’m calling out the Fat Cyclist. I’m shamelessly attempting to use his miniscule celebrity as a lever for my microscopic celebrity, all in the name of cancer fundraising.
So, here’s what I propose:
1. I will match dollar-for-dollar, up to $1000, any donation from a Fat Cyclist blog reader or FC himself. Just put “Fatty Rules” in the comments when you donate.
2. If FC readers give me up to $1500 in donations, I’ll have the folks at Voler make me up a custom “Fatty Rules” jersey to wear on the second day. We are, ahem, encouraged to wear the official PMC jersey on the first day. In turn, I encourage anyone with embarrasing vector art or extremely high resoluton photos of FC to email me. One caveat here: I will need three weeks or so to get the jersey done, so don’t wait.
4. If FC readers shoot the moon and donate $2000 or more, I’ll do the whole route – 192 miles – on my fixed gear. While wearing the jersey.
5. Since this is, of course, all about the Fat Cyclist: If Fatty makes his goal weight for the Leadville 100 by the time I go to the start on the evening of August 4th, I’ll throw in another $500. Of course I will require suitable documentation of this achievement. And if he doesn’t make his goal, maybe I’ll do the ride on his fixie.
Of course, I’m open to counter-suggestions from the man himself, so this list may expand.
A little bit about PMC – this ride has a low profile outside of New England, but it’s a massive charity event. Last year, about 4,000 riders raised $23 million for Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston, one of the premiere pediatric and adult cancer research centers in the United States. Ninety-nine percent of the money raised goes to cancer research, so this is an extremely efficent way to help out. This year the goal is $25 million – please help us get there.