Our time together is up for now. You’re going to go hang out in Europe for a few weeks, and it’s time for me to catch up on all the other things I’ve ignored while you’ve been in town. Maybe I’ll hear from you, but I won’t really see you again until next fall. Before you go, I want to let you know how much I’m looking forward to that.
Oh, I know I’m not your favorite. Obviously you like plenty of other guys better, and sometimes you act like you hate me. That’s probably never going to change, and yeah, it makes me a little bit jealous. I don’t care. When I’m with you, all my other cares disappear. You consume me, and I like it.
You’re probably not all that good for me. My wife sure wasn’t happy when she found out about you! And it seems like you go out of your way to hurt me. Every time I see you, I go home bruised and aching. A couple of times, you hurt me so bad that I couldn’t walk straight. That’s not really a sign of a healthy relationship, is it? Some people would call it abuse.
Despite all that, I can’t bear the thought of giving you up. I’ll be thinking of you while you’re gone. While you’re off doing whatever you do, I’ll spend some time with your sister Road – hey, we never said we’d be exclusive – and, when I’m desperate, I’ll call your ugly cousin, Trainer. Lots of things can happen in nine months, but I hope I’ll get to see you again next fall. Maybe, if I try hard, you’ll learn to like me a little better next time.